There is this one cartoon on the "Ren & Stimpy Show" from a little over 25 years ago that I still remember as one of the funniest cartoons I ever saw.
Its title is "An Abe Divided." It starts out in a trash can where Ren and Stimpy are rooting through garbage to eat, and come across this ad for guardians to the President in a recent newspaper; the position sounds very lucrative.
So they go to Washington, and consult the hulking, hostile position supervisor: Sergeant Big Butt. He grabs his lady's wig, turns around to face them in lipstick and a very pretty skirt, plus his military reg jacket and five-o'-clock shadow, and informs them that the job comes with definite responsibilities. "You know what you get with the job? You get...TOWELS!!!" Stimpy: "I like towels." So Sergeant Big Butt shows them what comes of that, presenting military men in only towels, who take them and snap them at Ren and Stimpy's behinds. Their butts full of stinging, agonizing welts, Stimpy can't be brought down even now: "Gosh, I love military tradition!"
So the gruesome twosome are presented to the President, which we recognize as the Lincoln Memorial. Sergeant Big Butt snarls at them to scrub away every single speck of dirt. "AND...DON'T...SCREW...UP." Ren complains, but Stimpy, overjoyed at this sight, jumps in the Memorial's lap and starts asking for a bunch of toys. When Ren informs him: "That's a memorial, stupid!" Stimpy bursts into tears: "I didn't know...Santa Claus was...DEAD!!!" But Ren whacks him in the face again. "Don't ya know President Willard P. Fillmore when you see him? Now get to work!"
Later, they act as tour guides when tourists come in to gaze at the President and take photos, etc. But no sooner have they opened the doors when Ren overhears an elderly man say to his grandson: "I hear tell there's a treasure inside his head." Ren's eyes widen...his mind fills with an image of driving out of Lincoln's ceramic head in a new car, filthy rich and surrounded with hot women...he loves the idea so much all of a sudden...he bursts out, "Closing time!" and herds all the tourists back out the way they came. But Stimpy says, "I think you're mistaken, Ren. We're supposed to stay open for another eighteen hours." "Shut up and help me get into the President's head, you eediot."
But getting in through the nose doesn't work out. So they try cutting off the head, and while they're sawing it off, Stimpy says he knows about the treasure: "It's pounds and pounds...of wonderful...golden...CARAMEL CORN!" Ren is, of course, skeptical. They get the head off, and Ren says, "Now get a grip on the head, and whatever you do, don't drop—" That's when the head tumbles to the floor and busts apart. Stimpy, holding Ren by his head, says, "Oh...you meant the President's head." They rush to find the treasure: Ren's shocked; Stimpy's delighted; it is indeed "Care-mully car-molly corny corn! My FAVORITE."
They now try piecing the head back together, but Stimpy gets it wrong so many times, having to break it all over again so many times, it's reduced to dust. They try all sorts of replacement heads, like a copper penny ("too small"); a sculpture of hot dogs, which some belligerent pigeons eat right up; the Statue of Liberty's head ("too big"); and a dumpster with the face drawn on. Ultimately facing sure doom from Sergeant Big Butt, they nonetheless agree to keep the faith, because, so they say, the spirit of good old Honest Abe himself will see them through this. That's when they get their butts kicked by Abe Lincoln's very ghost, carrying his severed head, who says, "Like heck I will."
The next day, Sergeant Big Butt is coming down upon them: "Do you have anything to say...BEFORE I KILL YOU?!?" Ren says: "Listen, let me try to explain. You see"—he points at Stimpy—"it's all his fault!" The sergeant grabs them.
That evening, all is well at the Memorial of the President. The tourists are admiring him as usual; in particular they're admiring his new face—as which Ren and Stimpy themselves now serve.
That one was great.
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